I Didn't Know How Sick I Was... Until I began To Heal

Recovering... Do you know and understand the ills you have? What you have not recovered from, although you've physically healed? We have symptoms, and health issues arise. We go to the doctor for diagnosis, medication, tests, surgery, or therapy. We adjust to the task of "getting well" or "feeling better".

"Getting Well" is not just the physical. I found that my emotional and mental state had been shaken. Prayers did not cease; my prayers, prayers from friends and family, and my support surrounded me daily. I was sick and fading; as the doctors were working on my physical health, I needed work that touched my soul. My spirit was damaged.

I began to heal my walked-on emotions by answering the questions, "Why me?" and then asking "Why not Me?" I had mental battles with what could have been, and should have been, as prayers were lifted for my healing. I realized I am a being of spirit. It included my mind, body, and soul. Without it all, I would continue to fade.

My Oncologist said, "We're working to cure you." I had work to do for myself, work that would start within. My outward appearance, the smile, the words, "I'm doing better," It's okay," just wasn't enough. I was tearing up daily, wallowing in fear.

I didn't know how sick I was; I didn't understand there were blessings on the way. Through my tears, my fears, and my prayers... The prayers of others surrounded me, as well as the prayers and hands of the doctors; I didn't know the power of it all until I began to heal within.

We often are blind, unable to see the spiritual workings within and surrounding us. We seek reason; we want the answer to, "Why me?" as though it will soothe us, and we would accept any outcome. I was reminded that I had to move toward recovery, spirit first. For that is what moves first, the spirit within us. I had to regain the spirit that allowed me to be... me.

Today I continue to heal. I take on that positive spirit within and allow it to speak. "The best is yet to come... for I AM BLESSED... to heal, to recover... Mind, Body, & Soul. To fulfill my purpose, I had to not only recover but heal. Complete healing... Thank God For Keeping Me... When I Couldn't Keep Myself.